November 12, 2009

Flashback, Flashforward

I actually had something totally different all written up for today. I usually start my mornings at the gym (I do a lot of baking after all) where Evie plays in the excellent childcare, I get a chance to work out and then I can sit in the peace of the cafe and write. This morning I was kind of moaning about my indecisiveness as to whether I'm going to jump whole hog into the digital world or if I really need a big paper desk calender after all.

And then Evie and I took a walk in the rain. Well really a dash. Thursday mornings she goes to a kids-only story time at the library which she loves because she gets to be big and which I hate, just a little bit, because it means she's growing up, although it does give me 30 whole minutes to look for books that dont involve princesses or Captain Underpants.

But back to the rain. It's been raining here for almost three days and wont stop for at least another day and a half. It's cold and wet and everything looks gray and soggy and even though I complain about it, it makes me think of home. Home in Portland, home in Ireland. I have a thing for wet, cold places. Who knows.

When Briton was three were were living in Dublin in a tiny tiny apartment. Will wont admit it but it was 300 square feet. I know this because on one particularly rainy day I used this digital measuring tool will had and measured the whole place. Twice. Just to be sure. Actually I think it was 298 square feet. So, pretty small. Which meant that, rain or no, we went out every day. We walked and walked and hopped on buses and rode the purple train into town and the green train out to the seaside towns of Dalkey and Bray. It was just the two of us all day and it was wonderful. And now he's seven. And Evie is the one walking in the rain with me, holding my hand and almost ready to go to preschool.

Life is busier here. We have a house to renovate and a real kitchen instead of half an oven and three burners and all my bakeware sitting in boxes across the ocean and school functions and a car and, although the town is much smaller, a bigger life. I dont get to spend as much time just being a mom of a three year old as I did back then. I guess that's probably true of all second and third and how ever many after kids. But today I got to walk in the rain with my daughter and buy her a cookie even though it was almost lunch and then I watched her blow me a kiss and walk up the stairs of the library like a big girl. It's a good kind of day. Even with the rain...