When I was a young mother, with young children, bedtime was sacred. I tried very hard to not let anything throw us off. It was early and regulated and set in stone. Of course, as needs changed the routine did, but still, it was a routine. Now that the kids are older (and more interested in listening to music or books on tape or reading to themselves than a book read out loud) bedtime is more of a scramble to get everyone where they need to be with enough time left over for Will and I to have some down time. Or at least fold laundry. I was reminding him just this weekend that we used to get gobs of things done around the house after the kids went to bed and now we are lucky if we don't fall asleep before Briton does. Part of it is age (as in, we are getting older) and part is that, where they used to be in bed at 7:00 and Evie at least would be asleep by 7:15, now bedtime stretches to 8:30 or 9:00, maybe later if there is homework or baths or a school event or whatever. Evie still sometimes wants a story, but she can read now, and she wants to read on her own (to the dog or the cats preferably). Or, if she is very tired, she wants the lights off and music on and good night all she's off to sleep. She did ask me this week if I would start reading the Harry Potter books to her (which made me jump for joy a little) but most of those "let's read more" requests come at different points in the day - bathtime reading is a big hit, for example.
Maybe we just need a new kind of bedtime routine. Or maybe we have one and it just looks so different from what used to be that I don't recognize it as routine. Chores and brushing teeth and chasing cats up or down the ladder, depending on where your bedroom is and which cat you want to sleep with. But maybe it would be good to slip a little mama reads time back into the schedule.
Do you still read to your (older) kids at bedtime? Or have a regular bedtime routine?
I read to Lindsay off and on until about two years ago. That would make her about 14. She loves when I read some book she wants me to read, but I don't have time for, because I have a stack that threatens to smother me beside the bed.
ReplyDeleteNow, she gets her jammies on, brushes teeth, washes face, makes her lunch, all on her own (well, she IS 16...) but when she's ready to go get into bed and read, she tells me what time I am to come in and say goodnight. It's usually 15 or 20 minutes later. Around 8:45 or 9:00 (really!) I go in, blow kisses (she is in her platform bed, which is scary-high...I'd never have gotten it for her when she was younger and started asking) and some nights she sings to me. She turns off the light and goes to sleep. Sometimes we have short conversations about stuff in a book she's reading, but really, Greg and I are usually in the middle of an exciting show (Midsomer Murders, Downton Abbey!) and I don't want to keep him waiting.
It's become our routine, and I wouldn't give it up for the world.
Oh, and we used to do back rubs (mutual, and she got VERY good at it) and she'd ask for "zen garden" on her back. That was when I'd "place" (draw) three "rocks" on her back, and lightly use my fingernails to "rake" the "sand" around them in patterns. Tactile and geometric and spiritual all in one! Also, writing words on each other's back is a good one. I mention this also because that is how I discovered she had scoliosis. Or rather, I discovered she had an irregularity, which I thought was muscle development, but turned out to be scoliosis, which has now stabilized, but is a source of some pain at times. So I'm glad we're both very tactile people, and we did back rubs!
Most definitely! Although Jed is just 9, I don't see any signs of him wanting to give it up anytime soon. I'm so glad...it's my favorite part of the day. One of the things I love about reading to Jed is his enthusiasm...he hollers out loud when good things happen to our hero. :)
ReplyDeleteMy girls are in middle school now, so bedtime is pretty simple. They do everything they need to do and then we come in and kiss them good night.
ReplyDeleteThis past weekend, for the first time ever, my husband and I went to bed before the girls. They actually looked rather shocked when we kissed them and told them to turn off the lights around the house when they came upstairs.
My two are still little(6 and almost 4), so we still have the routine and bedtime stories that we always have. I very much hope to still be reading to or with them nightly for years yet. I am mainly just commenting because I've been reading your blog for a while, enjoy it a lot and have never commented. So, thanks for sharing here.
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